In order to find the cause of Social Anxiety and Excessive shyness, we have to look deep down inside ourselves and our environment. We are directly linked to the communities we live in. Our introverted nature, as socially anxious individuals, is directly related to the environment we grow up in.
What does Community mean to you? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, Community is a group of people who live in the same area, such as a city, town, or neighborhood.
In today’s society, the word ‘Community’ usually refers to a collection of people online who share a common interest but do not know each other personally.
Something is Missing
Ever hear that old saying “It takes a village”? It means that children used to be raised by their siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, parents and neighbors. Neighbors which were often the members of the same family.
Being raised by the “village” helped to develop a strong sense of community. At its most basic level, ‘community’ meant that people stood by members of your community even in tough times. It meant comradery, companionship and resulted in an unshakable sense of self-identity and mental well-being.
The Nuclear Family
Neighbors don’t usually play an important role in raising each other’s children anymore. Nor do millions of Americans live near their families. That leaves just the parents alone to raise their children, along with the optional nanny or daycare facility. Often times, these overworked parents are both working full-time jobs.
Since ‘Full-Time’ in the United States usually means 10 hours days on average, there is little time left to attend to a child needs. Even for a person who doesn’t work, a child’s needs can be overwhelming at times. Some families choose to hire a nanny, but for children, there is no replacement for their parents’ attention.
How often does your family sit down to a home-cooked meal together? We don’t eat together, and if we do, the TV’s on or mobile devices are out. We don’t face each other anymore. Sitting down and actually talking to each other, no matter what interpersonal problems we may have is vital to learning how to build and keep healthy relationships
A long time ago, we used to deal with each other. It didn’t matter if you liked your neighbor or your coworker. You were still present and talking to that person. The constant judgment of whether we like a person or not is new.
You may not have a particular liking for someone but stick with them. To simply avoid them is dismissing all the positive qualities that person may have. No one is perfect and judging others is refusing to accept the fact that we all have our flaws.
It is not old-fashioned to sit down to eat together. It is still done in most modern societies. We lost that habit somewhere during the early 20th century as nuclear families grew apart.
We all have the same basic needs. All people everywhere just want to be happy and live their lives in peace. We have forgotten that we are all family. Literally, we are all related, having evolved from the same ancestor.
Nowadays, the slightest thing happens, and we feel like we cannot deal with that person. We’re not going to say ‘hi’ to them when passing them in the hallway because we don’t like them. There was a time when awkward was not a word that was heard regularly. It referred to an uncomfortable sitting position, not a common feeling among people.
Feeling a bit uncomfortable with others is ok. With time, it gets better. The only thing required is that we open up and actually deal with each other. Get out of our phones, out of our heads and into real life.
It is much more beneficial to personal growth and society overall to just be present. Constantly judging whether you like someone is neither necessary nor beneficial. If someone is overtly offensive and abusive, it’s reasonable to give that person a little space. But if it’s just something about them you don’t like, try to endure it. In no time at all you’ll get to know them and like them better.