A good profile will be the right balance between honesty and charm. The charm is the part where you give your reader a reason to keep reading. The honesty part is your chance to show a modest part of yourself that really lets the reader know who you are. This helps them to get to know you and helps you to weed out the girls who don’t relate to you on matters that may be important to you.
Remember, as a man, you are one of many men who are trying to get her attention.You can easily set yourself apart from the crowd by planning your approach methodically as most men will not do this. Every attractive girl in an online dating program is spammed on a daily basis with tons of men. Most of whom have bland and un-creative approaches and profiles that are not properly written. With just a small amount of preparation, you can be that breath of fresh air that she’s been waiting for.
In Part 3 of The Socially Anxious Man’s Guide to Online Dating, we’ll show you how to make a simple and charming online dating profile that will have them jumping on your boat without hours and hours of trawling.
Here are some basic guidelines for writing your profile:
1. Write your profile for the women you’re looking for. Imagine the girl that you want to meet. Imagine what she looks like, where she’s from and how you two would get along. Write your profile as if you’re sitting across from her having a friendly conversation over dinner or coffee. Your profile is your chance to grab that girl’s attention. Its purpose is to entice her to want to talk to you.
Much like the process of getting a job, your profile is your resume and the date is a mutual interview. Your profile, just like your resume, is not a list of cold hard facts about you. It is an honest summary about you, whose every word should be carefully chosen with the idea of encouraging the reader to want to speak with you. You’ll have plenty of time to lay it all on the table after a couple of dates. Keep it under control until then.
2. Let your sense of humor shine. When asked what the most attractive quality a man can have, women the world around, consistently say ‘sense of humor’. As shy guys, our sense of humor can sometimes be hampered, even if we’re hilarious in situations where we’re comfortable.
In your profile, you have a chance to let that sense of humor shine during times when you’re calm and relaxed. When you’re writing, you’re not on the spot and under pressure. You have time to relax and be creative so let this be your best foot forward and let your own personal brand of humor come out.
3. Keep It Simple. Don’t ramble on. Your profile is not your personal diary so don’t poor your heart out. An honest and genuine man is extremely attractive to a woman… but not on or even before the first date. Imagine you are on a street in the middle of a big city and a strange man walked up to you and started telling you his whole life story without you even knowing his name. You probably be looking for the quickest escape rout… and so would she.
That’s not how you made the friends you have. You got to know your friends over time and if they confided in you, it’s because you knew each other well. You can bet that the same thing is true for online dating. Be open, honest and genuine but don’t open the flood gates too soon or your leave her feeling overwhelmed.
4. Take a careful look at your expectations. It’s perfectly okay to want a beautiful girl. I personally know for a fact that you are capable of attracting a woman who you are attracted to. Remember that all human beings are extremely imperfect. When visualizing your ‘perfect’ girl, don’t put unrealistic expectations on her. Don’t write too much in the section about ‘what you’re looking for’. When you narrow this section down too much, you run the risk of closing the door on opportunity. Instead, narrow your search down and be selective when chatting with women.
5. Answer as many of the personality questions as you can and answer them honestly but modestly. Some of the questions can be a bit more than a lot of people are ready to reveal. That is okay. It’s perfectly fine to skip a question but for every question you skip, make sure to answer 3 more.
A good approach to online dating will always involve making a woman feel comfortable. That means never, ever invite her to your place before you meet. Approach her with sensitivity and understanding. After all, this could be a future life-partner you’re talking to.