Guide to Dating for the Socially Anxious Man Part VI: Understanding Our Differences

As socially anxious men, we’re often caught in our own little anxiety hell. We don’t often take the scary step outside of our head and  recognize and appreciate the differences in others. If you want more success in the dating world, it’s time to take that leap of faith. This will make you a better man 10 fold. As you struggle to understand women you’ll be stepping outside your world of social anxiety and understanding yourself better in the process.

It’s well known that no two people are alike but simply saying that everyone is special does not a good article make. There are enough common factors among all people that make it reasonable to generalize to some extent.

While many men doubtlessly have noticed that stark difference between themselves and their female partner, many men have not taken the time to appreciate those differences in detail.

Two common characteristics of men are simplicity and utility.

If you don’t believe this then I want you to stop all fart jokes, never watch another episode of South Park and go right now to your friend’s house and try to have a deep and meaningful conversation about your feelings with

Men want to get things done and anything that prevents that is considered an obstacle. To surmount these obstacles, men tend to be very focused on one task at a time and do not notice many details that are picked up by their female counterparts.

This is a gross generalization for the purpose of communicating the idea of appreciating our differences and seeing them under a positive light. It is not to say that all men and women fit into square boxes with neat little check marks.

Women Tend to Be More Complex, Mature and Detail Oriented

They have different strengths then men and knowing these strengths and truly understanding the women you’re attracted to is very important to say the least. Many women are capable of taking in amounts of detail that would boggle the mind of most men. They are expert multitaskers and can remember details that many men would not even have noticed.

Understanding how truly detail oriented women naturally are, is crucial to earning their trust. Because men are not as naturally detail orientated, we have to work to catch up. If you want a beautiful woman who will treat you right, the impetus is on you to do the work to make sure you understand her.

It’s rare when a good woman falls out of the sky

…especially if you have social anxiety and don’t get out much. It could happen, but if it hasn’t happened yet, then it is a good idea to follow suite of the many men before you and start your journey on the path to understanding these beautifully complex creatures.

Many men might raise the question “why should I have to change myself. Shouldn’t she just love me for who I am?”. I’m not saying this is a perfect world. What I’m saying is that we can’t tailor the world to fit our needs. The only thing we can do is observe how the world works and tailor our selves in a manner that will allow us to get what we want; but only if we want it bad enough. Let go of this part of the ego. Put your needs on hold and just focus on making yourself better understood to women.

You, like every human being, deserves to be loved for who you are. Today’s society tries to teach us that men and women are equal and there is no difference as if we’re robots pooped out of a factory. It’s taboo to say that anyone in our culture is different. Let that be and quietly recognize that it is total and complete bullshit. Once you recognize that women and men are vastly different, then you can begin to appreciate that difference you’ll love them even more for it.

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